im lost without you.
Our lives will only ever always continue to be a balancing act that has less to do with pain and more to do with beauty.
Home   ×       ×   Ask me anything X Everything about me    ×   Twitter   ×   To this day project   ×   Internet Best Friend    ×   Me    ×   Mine   ×   nature blog    ×   

My body is not an art museum I have never invited someone to look at the paintings and applaud me for dismantling myself into tiny little pieces. /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)

(via n0-0ne-special)

Who created the notion that young girls
are so desperate for male attention
that we bring blades to the insides of our wrists
just so some guy will sweep in
and save us

who was the first person that sold the idea
that self-harm is just a disgusting form
of a short skirt: just like everyone dresses
how they do for someone else’s attention
and couldn’t possibly take action in regards
to their own desires and choices
we’re just poor dumb
deluded creatures who must truly think
our scars
are beautiful - who was it

because you were right.
I did do it out of want for love.

I did it because there was no love
inside of me, none at all, no love for this body
nor this life. I did it because I was so incredibly numb
at times I questioned if I was even alive.
I did it because I was addicted and
when you don’t love yourself yet, you can’t
see a single reason to keep from doing it.

I was certainly caught up in the idea
that someone would see, someone would ask about it.
I very much liked the notion
of someone finally liking me enough
to try and help - but then,
what’s so very wrong about not being strong enough
at fourteen years old
to battle a demon that is the only thing to make you feel
a little bit in control
what’s so wrong about needing a hand to hold
until you’re well enough
to walk on your own?

The only thing you got wrong
was the boy in this story. Never in my life
have I pictured Prince Charming and thought “Golly,
I sure hope that he saves me.” It could have been anybody. I
never wanted a romance to go along with it.
I didn’t need someone to kiss the scars, I just wanted
someone to tell me to stop when I could not stop myself.
I just wanted a friend. I just wanted someone, anyone
to be there for me when I needed it - but I never asked aloud.
I didn’t want to be a burden.

I have been so scared to be naked in front of people
since I was in middle school. What gave you the idea
I’m proud of these moments? Have you ever actually seen
someone else’s scars, unless it’s by accident? Because
the people I know who self-harm
will do anything in their power
to keep it hidden.

Why is everything a girl goes through
always made to be about men? Even when I’m
hurting myself, it’s about wanting their attention. Even
an action like taking every ounce of my self-hatred and
channeling it into a blade
is somehow translated into
“stop hurting yourself just to get laid.”

There are boys who cut too.
What will you say to them?
“I’m sorry, but your pain doesn’t count,
don’t you know girls only do this
to be lovely and broken.”
Maybe boys cut for the same reason other
people do too: they’re in pain and
they have no other way to grapple with emotion.
Maybe every time you tell a girl,
“You only do this for attention,” you’re telling
a young boy, “Don’t show how bad it is, just keep it in,”
you’re telling him,
“This is a thing only desperate little girls do,
never men.”

I battled this for years. It has always been
my fight, and mine alone. It has
nothing to do
with the boys and girls I have loved.

Destroy the idea that self-harm is just for attention, because the minute you put a label like that on it is when you start saying “Oh, that means we don’t have to help them.” Destroy the idea asking for help is a sign of weakness. It’s okay to need other people sometimes. It’s okay to look for people to love you if you have no one. It’s okay. There’s a reason therapy is a legitimate profession. Sometimes you’ll need other people to overcome things. Destroy the idea that young kids find beauty in depression. Destroy the idea that boys aren’t hurting. Destroy the idea that any girl ever has said “I’ll just hurt myself and he’ll love me” because
that’s never going to happen.

lauralittlex:

i want people to know i’m struggling but i don’t want people to know i’m struggling do you see my problem

(via forgottenaprils)

TotallyLayouts has Tumblr Themes, Twitter Backgrounds, Facebook Covers, Tumblr Music Player and Tumblr Follower Counter